THE GREAT GADFLY:

Improper Dancing In The Middle Of The Street

Have you ever literally had your ass spanked by music before? Are you sure? Because I don't think you have. I don't think you've felt the punishing slap of The Rawk up against your quivering ass flesh. I just don't think you have.

Unless you've already picked up Electric 6's album "Fire", that is.

This is what Moammar Khaddafi would sound like if he fronted his own rock band. In fact, it may just be him, I don't know. I read the liner notes and he didn't show up, but that doesn't mean anything these days.

It hurts to listen to this music, yet I must have more. I chafe with a grateful smile on my unworthy face as Electric 6 tells me, via compact disc transmission, that they have naked pictures of my mother, and that they drive around in their limo, cuz that's what they were born to do.

Nothing short of hyperbole can describe this music. It's either so brilliant it's horrific, or else it's so godawful bad it's downright transcendent.

They are a disco. They are in a Taco Bell. Danger! High Voltage!

Well, what else can I say. I'm spent. Yet whatever fumes with which I continue to run are in debt to this music - this awful, wonderful, hideous, corpo-funky music.

I can say no more. Yet I've only scratched the ugly surface. So just eat it.

I SAID EAT IT.