THE GREAT GADFLY: Crazy Talk
I saw a commercial for a show on television this week where they're holding a race to see which can pull an airplane across the finish line fastest: a couple of elephants or a team of coked-up dwarves. People get excited about Joe Millionaire when there's THIS?! The same show boasts an eating contest (and you all know how deep my feelings are for the sport of competitive eating), where a mountain of hot dogs are offered to two contestants in a race to see which can be the more efficient glutton: a fat guy in a plaid shirt or a grizzly bear. Until I'm promised copious footage of The Bachelorette guzzling down cauldron upon cauldron of instant banana pudding, as if her very life depended on her accelerated pudding consumption, I can say with all honesty that I truly have no use for so-called "Reality TV".
Now Anna-Nicole Smith, that's another story. She WILL guzzle kegs of pudding - simply for something to do - and I'm sure if you brought in a minicam and a dumpster full of cash, she'd even pull a 747 by her teeth. I saw footage this morning of Ms. Smith reading Mr. Blackwell's list of 2002's Worst Dressed and discovering she was the toppermost of the sloppermost: "Number four...Shakeerea? Shackeria? Shaquille? Who's that?"
Anyway, the thing with the dwarves and the bear and the elephants - I think the show is called MAN VS. BEAST. Consult your local listings, why don'tcha.
I really want the show to be hosted by Brian Fellow.
2003-10-14 - Last Haiku
2003-10-09 - Don't Cry Out Loud
2003-10-09 - Sit Down, You're Making Me Nervous
2003-10-08 - I'm Sure Miss Thing, I'm Sure
2003-10-07 - Carbonated Water, Caramel Color, Aspartame