THE GREAT GADFLY:

10 Things I Really Want



1. "Proud Mother Of An Adult Alcoholic" t-shirt.

2. A lifetime subscription to the Faygo Of The Month club (next month: Diet Rock'N'Rye!).

3. An adequately-humane gluetrap for pesky neighbors.

4. A lapel pin that says "Less Shock And Awe, More Chaka Khan".

5. A stern, stone-faced taskmaster of a British housekeeper, perhaps with a name like "Mrs. Throttlesworth". She would be so stern that she'd administer a sound thrashing if I leave a milk glass in the sink without at least rinsing it.

6. Or maybe just a cat.

7. More "flair" for my office cubicle. At present I have none, zero, zilch. I might as well be a three-day temp. Can I borrow someone's baby and/or wife so I can pose for a picture with them and display it prominently at my desk? Thanks in advance. (Oh, and I would like to pose with several people's wives and/or children - I like to keep my co-workers guessing, you see.)

8. A magic box with direct video link to Grace Jones at all times.

9. A guest spot on '24', either as one of Kim's boyfriends or as someone getting into a car.

10. If not world peace, at least a decent new Radiohead album.




2003-10-14 - Last Haiku
2003-10-09 - Don't Cry Out Loud
2003-10-09 - Sit Down, You're Making Me Nervous
2003-10-08 - I'm Sure Miss Thing, I'm Sure
2003-10-07 - Carbonated Water, Caramel Color, Aspartame

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