THE GREAT GADFLY:

Sexin' Me In 2003

Here's my proposed update of Kip Winger & Lita Ford's HOTT hit 80's duet "Quit Sexin' Me":

So, yeah.

I noticed you're still sexin' me.

You REALLY need to stop sexin' me.

No, listen:

STOP IT. It's not cute anymore. I'm not bothered by your sexin' anymore.

Sure, it was kinda hot the first time. I'll admit, you were sort of attractive, nice hair, I liked your teeth - but this is now, and it's certainly not then.

It's kind of starting to chafe, your sexin'. I have this big open wound on the back of my foot, and I thought it was from my new shoes that I bought last week, but the more I think about it, I'm starting to realize that no, it's from all your sexin'. It hurts. Ow.

I see that grin on your face. You don't believe me. You think I'm being coy, don't you? Well I am not. I am not so coy at all anymore. I don't want you sexin' me anymore, and that's just how it goes. Now, if you are in a sexin' mood, go over there and sex the sofa. Sex the coffee table. Sex the TiVo. I'm going to sit over here and do the Sunday Times crossword and listen to some nice, clean, chaste Norah Jones music. Go do your sexin' duties and leave me out of it.

I don't know how much more clear I can be.

QUIT SEXIN' ME.