THE GREAT GADFLY: Ha Ha Ha, You've Already Paid For This
I log in every day. I know the neighborhood well.
Now about the residents of the Puppet Motel
They're more than a little spooky
And most of them are mean. They're runnin' the numbers
They're playin' cops and robbers
Down in their dungeons inside their machines.
Cause they don't know what's really real now
They're havin' fourth dimensional dreams
Their minds are out on bail now
And real is only what it seems.
And all the puppets in this digital jail
They're runnin' around in a frenzy in search of the Holy Grail.
They're havin' virtual sex. They're eatin' virtual food.
No wonder these puppets are always in a lousy mood.
So if you think we live in a modern world
Where everything is clean and swell
Take a walk on the B side of town down by the Puppet Motel.
Take a whiff. Burning plastic.
I drink a cup of coffee I try to revive
My mind's a blank I'm barely alive
My nerves are shot I feel like hell
Guess it's time to check in at the Puppet Motel.
Boot up. Good afternoon. Pause.
Oooo. I really like the way you talk.
Pardon me. Shut down.
Bedhead androgynes unite! According to this picture, I have the same hair as Laurie Anderson. Ooooh-eeee...I'm Mister Heartbreak. Listen to my heart.
Beat.
So my downstairs neighbors Zod & Ursa have this new ritual where they like to put their furniture out on the balcony on weekends. Not so they can sit in it and admire their windchimes in the springtime breeze, mind you. No, they stack all the furniture up on the balcony and leave it there, all weekend. Perhaps it's to clear out more room in their phantom zone villa for weekly cigarette parties, but no. The last time they did this, they piled up all the furniture on the back balcony and then left for the weekend, and the landlord left a big note on their door telling them to knock it off.
Well, they're not knocking it off. They're Zod & Ursa, after all. Planet Houston is theirs to do with as they please.
I think this weekend's going to be all about watching Werner Herzog movies; though contrary to popular belief, I don't like the artsy-fartsy stuff. In fact, I think I hate it. "Dirty Harry" - now THERE'S a movie. There's a scene at the end, you see, where Dirty Harry is pointing a gun at the bad guy - ARE YOU LISTENING, GRAND-ME-MAMA? - and he says, "you have to ask yourself a question: do you feel lucky?" I think that's great. "Do you feel lucky?" I love that.
There's no room for moody brooding in this house. Be a winner, not a loser. And quit your shivering.
Speaking of feeling lucky:
You wanna see the crazy bitches go wild? Tease ya, squeeze ya, please ya...then Thelma & Louise ya.
Welcome to my weekend. Would you care for a mint?
2003-10-14 - Last Haiku
2003-10-09 - Don't Cry Out Loud
2003-10-09 - Sit Down, You're Making Me Nervous
2003-10-08 - I'm Sure Miss Thing, I'm Sure
2003-10-07 - Carbonated Water, Caramel Color, Aspartame