THE GREAT GADFLY:

Friday Five Plus Five Plus Five Plus Five



This week's Friday Five (times four) arrives via neko-carre, via Tuffy and La Sambadelique:

Past

1. When were you born? The year a bunch of rock'n'roll people died.

2. Where were you born? Indianoplace, IN

3. What was your first grade teacher's name? Mrs. Manifold. Shit you not.

4. What was your first pet's name and what was it? We had a beagle named Patty. She was bald because a squirrel bit off the top part of her head once and no hair ever grew there. I had a bald dog, like a Lou Asner dog. And she was a girl dog. Sad.

5. What was your worst accident (medical)? Oh, it's when I was like three and I was sleeping over at someone's house and they put me in the top bunk of a bunk bed (?!) and I fell out of it, and in a traumatized daze I tried to get up and walk to where my parents were sleeping, but I tripped over my feet and fell down a flight of stairs. I broke my collarbone, but I'm sure the performance was sheer comic genius.

6. What was your favorite cartoon? I liked SuperFriends until Spiderman & His Amazing Friends came along. I also liked the Thing/Schmoo Hour. The concept of watching a show about an animated marshmallow, then another show about a man made out of rocks, well, it kinda blew me away.

7. Who was your first best friend? Joey who lived next to a funeral parlor.

8. When was the first time you ever went on a plane? Oh lordie, I was 10 years old and I actually took a flight by myself from Kansas to Indiana. A man had a heart attack on the flight. I had a great time. No, really. I'm serious.

9. Who was your first boyfriend? h god, it was my sophomore year of college and he was a townie pretending to be an Australian exchange student. Whatta maroon. But he was really hot, so like, whatever.

10. What was your favorite song when you were in the 5th grade? Just point to any song on the "Xanadu" soundtrack and you'll have your answer.

11. What was your favorite movie in the 2nd grade? Star Wars, I'm sure. When did Superman II come out? That was another big moment, watching Superman get dissed and having to kneel before Zod.

12. What did you want to be when you grew up? I remember this: either an astronaut or a DJ.

13. What used to be your favorite color? Oh, wow. I think it was red.

14. What was your favorite subject? Art. It was all about coating my fingers in glue and then peeling off perfect sheets of fingerprints. Yup.

15. Did you ever wet your pants at school? No, but oh my god, one time this girl wet her pants and issued forth a pee stream that went all the way across the classroom. Nobody laughed. We were all horrified and said nothing. I often wanted to pee on others, though. Not in a sex-like way. But in a mean, I-hate-you kind of way. I used to threaten to pee out the window onto people's heads. Never did, though.

16. Did you ever get sent to the principal? Oh, I'm sure I did. I got sent to the "guidance counselors" more often. What did these people actually DO? They never guided me. They would only give me detention and suggest crappy colleges.

17. Did you ever start a food fight? I had no time for such shenanigans. I threw a banana at this guy Brian once when he told us all that he had a boner.

18. What was your worst fear? Waking up in the middle of the night with Satan sitting on my chest.

19. What was your favorite toy? A cross between my little plastic Star Wars people and my somewhat less little Meco superhero dolls (let's face it - they were dolls).

20. Did you ever suck your thumb? No, but when I was little I ate all the hair off my rubber Ernie hand puppet, then I went for the nose and chewed it clean off. I was a scary toddler.




2003-10-14 - Last Haiku
2003-10-09 - Don't Cry Out Loud
2003-10-09 - Sit Down, You're Making Me Nervous
2003-10-08 - I'm Sure Miss Thing, I'm Sure
2003-10-07 - Carbonated Water, Caramel Color, Aspartame

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