THE GREAT GADFLY: Fa Fa Fa.
1. Some of you have heard rumblings about a package coming to you in the mail in the near future. I know it's easy to assume I've finally gotten off my dead ass and started my big ambitious collaborative interactive mix tape project-a-thon deluxe, but don't go jumpin' over them sharp-topped fences cuz I don't want to make an ass out of u and me. Or something like that. Let's just say that I decided to bake a batch of Christmas cookies in my CD burner this year, though who knows what else can fit in a CD mailer? (And if you haven't gotten a rumbling about a package coming to you, relax. I'm getting to it. Or else, you know my music collection all too well, I have no idea who you are, or you've just plain been BAD this year.)
2. Everyone's all in a lather over poor Michael Jackson's face again. Check out my guestbook if you don't know what I'm talking about. I don't get it - this poor guy spends millions of dollars on surgery and treatments and this is what happens to him? Good grief. I look just like Michael Jackson right now, and I didn't pay a cent - it's called DRY SKIN. Spend seven bucks on a big bottle of Gold Bond Cracked Skin formula, Michael honey, maybe something will grow back.
3. Happy I Love To Write Day! You didn't think I would forget, did you? Awwww. Actually, after seeing the frighteningly garish "official website" for the rantster's holiday, I thought that perhaps I should start my own new, improved day of commemoration: NATIONAL DRUNKEN WRITING DAY. Oh, how I love me a drunken ramble! All you amateur Bukowskis out there, what can I say, you do my heart proud. Do you know of any stand-out classic drunken weblog diatribes? I wanna see 'em! And don't even try faking a drunken rant - I can tell the difference. No, "ha ha ha hee hee" isn't gonna cut it, cutiepants. I'm a boy who knows bad behavior. OH: so what day shall I officially deem Drunken Writing Day? Silly question. EVERY DAY is Drunken Writing Day in these parts - WHEEEEE!!!
2003-10-14 - Last Haiku
2003-10-09 - Don't Cry Out Loud
2003-10-09 - Sit Down, You're Making Me Nervous
2003-10-08 - I'm Sure Miss Thing, I'm Sure
2003-10-07 - Carbonated Water, Caramel Color, Aspartame