THE GREAT GADFLY:

There's A Brand New Dance But I Don't Know Its Name

Three Things:

1. In the latest issue of Entertainment Weakly, when asked about her blossoming "punk rock girl" image, tomboy teen idol Avril Levigne tells a reporter, "of course I don't know who the Sex Pistols are. I'm like 16 years old. How should I know?"

2. On Friday, a prankster posted a rumor on music industry site The Velvet Rope alleging that Britney Spears was set to cover the classic prog-rock song "I've Seen All Good People" by Yes. The prankster returned to the site later in the day to establish that this "news" was indeed a joke. The next day, The New York Post offered this tidbit on their Page Six gossipfest:

Yes to Yes

AS if Mariah Carey crooning Def Leppard's "Bringin' on the Heartache" on her new album "Charmbracelet," wasn't bad enough, guess what Britney Spears has up her sleeve? The pop tart, on a self-imposed six-month break, is back in the studio, we hear, and dead set on redoing Yes' "All Good People." "She has done some demos and is seeing if she can put it on a forthcoming album," our spy said. Spears once sang a cover of the Rolling Stones' "Satisfaction" which satisfied no one

At least they misspelled "Leppard" correctly, huh?

3. Linda Perry, the former Four-Non-Blondes "What's Going On?" lead singer/goggle enthusiast, has repurposed her career by writing and producing songs for the likes of Pink and Christina Aguilera. Right now she's co-producing an album for Courtney Love.

There was a point to all this, I assure you.